Image by Lawrence OP via FlickrMy apologies for yet another absence on here. I’ve been in somewhat of a “blogging slump” of late. No absence of ideas on what to blog on but an absence of clarity of thought in order to put them together. Of course, one of the things I do LOVE about this blog is it’s smaller, more intimate community that allows me more freedom to just blog and see what comes out.

There are times when having multiple blogs can be like a millstone around my neck. BUT, they all have a separate purpose and I use them all differently. It just means I can’t always blog to all of them all of the time.

Yesterday was my first time worship leading this year. I’ve been a worship leader for quite a number of years in our church. Over that time, things have changed a little in what is expected of the worship leader. And I guess I’ve grown and changed in how I worship lead.

To be completely honest, it’s not something I can really say I look forward to. I do enjoy it when I’m actually “in the moment”. And I know that God uses me when I worship lead (most of the time at least). But a lot of the time I find it a hard slog.

I still get nervous before I worship lead. But I think it’s a different kind of nerves to the “I have to stand up in front of a group of people” kind of nerves and more of a “this is a big responsibility and I’m pretty sure I’m not up to the task” kind of nerves. Or a “I hope I’m not doing this in my own strength because if I am I know I’m going to fall flat on my face” type nerves.

The good thing about those nerves is that they send me straight to the arms of the Father. I know without a doubt that without Him, I am nothing.

Sometimes I try too hard to have the exact right words to say. Sometimes I try to say too much.

This week was particularly hard. I haven’t been feeling all that great and we’d been out all day Saturday. We’re getting toward the end of the term and our four year old is extremely overtired right now. It makes him much less amicable to doing what we ask him to do.

Others around me were stressed with the rush of getting to church Sunday morning and expressing their stress to any and all who would listen. Stressing over things like getting the urn filled and turned on.

There really are so many things that distract us from focusing on God aren’t they?

It’s not that those things don’t matter to Him. Of course they do. But not when they get in the way of focusing on Him and the real reason we come to worship.

Interesting that the first song I had chose was this one:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in his wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace

So simple and yet so powerful and so true.

Where are your eyes right now?

Are they on the things of earth or are they on Jesus?

Dear Lord, Forgive me when I take my eyes from you and focus too much on the day to day things of life here on earth. Help me to simply turn me eyes upon you and drink in your wonder and your grace. Amen

I’m feeling a little blue right now. It was announced this morning in church that our current minister is leaving us. In September!!! Which is a strange time of year to be leaving and has left me feeling like we’re being up and abandoned.

While I love living in the country (now that I’m acclimatised more to the isolation and lack of shops!!!), there are some things that feel like disadvantages.

One of those is finding a minister who is prepared to live this far away from the capital city (around 500km) AND work with several smaller congregations. It’s amazing the kinds of responses we’ve had from prospective ministers - the manse is too small (or not nice enough), the school isn’t good enough for their kids and so on.

We were 3 years without a minister after the one prior to our current one was here.

So, aside from being disappointed that our current minister has decided to leave and that it seems all rather sudden and unusual, there is the added concern of how long it might take.

On top of all this, there are rumors circulating that we might lose our local hospital. Our current government in all it’s wisdom, feels money would be better spent on fewer hospitals with more facilities. Which might look good on paper but aint so good if you’ve got a child that can’t breathe and the nearest hospital is a couple of towns away (with 50-100km’s between towns).

It’s been hard enough the past 9 months not having a regular doctor. We’ve finally got a full-time doctor starting soon and now news of hospital closures has hit.

So right now I’m feeling a little abandoned and blue about what is happening around us. The lack of services to country areas is a difficulty faced by many living in rural and remote areas. We don’t need to lose any more.

I’d appreciate your prayers for a new minister and that our hospital will remain open.

Singstar Princess, my 7-year old daughter has taken to using the front verandah as her stage. It used to be the trampoline in the back yard but given our eldest son has discovered the pine trees out the front make good football goal posts, the kids have all gravitated to playing in front of the house. As there is no fence out there, they’re only allowed to play out there at certain times (like NOT when we have visitors OR if we’re expecting a truck delivery etc).

This morning she has been out there singing her little heart out with some made up song about always loving Jesus.

I wonder if she’ll turn to writing songs when she gets older? It’ll be interesting to see.

Dear Lord, Thank you for the gift of my beautiful daughter. Thank you that her heart is drawn to you in such a special way. May she always love and long to serve you more. I pray that she’ll use the gifts you have given her for Your Glory. She is such a treasure to my heart. Amen.

Before I had my license and a car, I did a LOT of walking. I used to find it such a great time for reflection, prayer, listening to God and so on.

Once I got my first car, I didn’t walk so many places. Instead, I found that driving was a great time for reflection, prayer, listening to God AND praise & worship. Particularly when I drive in the country.

One of the things I lost when I fried my brain (ie pushed myself until my brain decided to partially shut down) was the ability to drive anywhere. I’ve been gradually getting that skill back but I still don’t choose to drive places just for the sake of it.

Until today.

Today I took my 4 year old and we went for a drive to a town about half an hour from here.

I wasn’t busy thinking about where I was going or where I had been.

It was such a freeing feeling.

It’s funny how you don’t always miss something until it returns to you and you realise how much it means.

I can be like that with bible reading and regular prayer times. Habits slowly leak away until my mind isn’t as focused on God but I’m not really recognising the fact. Then something steers me back on track and I realise how much I MISSED that regular time with Him.

I’ve always loved this Bette Midler song. I do believe God is Watching Us. Although I don’t believe it’s from a distance.

However, as I was watching this youtube clip, it occured to me that while God is close, he is also watching from a distance. A distance in the sense that he sees a much LARGER picture than what we see. How easy it is to get caught up in life’s day to day problems and forget that there is a MUCH larger picture going on that what we see on a daily basis?

Thanks to Trish for showing this clip on her blog.

Dear Lord, Thank you that you do see the larger picture of life. Help us to also see things the way you see them and to not only be focused on our own problems. Amen.

A friend of mine sent me a link to this song. It was just what I needed at the time. Thanks Wendy. I hope you can draw some strength and hope from it also.

I love the internet world.  The way it puts us in touch with people far and wide who may have similar interests to us.  Friendships that might never have sprung up any other way are formed.  Websites and blogs where we can receive encouragement in our walk with God are a blessing.

But like all things in this world that are wonderful, they can also have a downside.  The temptation to use the internet as our haven from the world when in reality we need to be running straight to God himself is one I’m sure we all have faced.

I’m not perfect and in this life I never will be.  I have times when I use the internet as a tool like I would any other valuable things in life.  And I have times where I use it as an idol.  A place to run to INSTEAD of running straight to God.

I mentioned yesterday that I’m feeling quite hurt at the moment by a few things that have happened online of late.  People are just as capable of hurting us via the internet as they are through any other means.

I am thankful for this because it has reminded me that NOTHING and NO-ONE can provide for us the safe haven that the loving arms of God provide.  I am thankful that God is a gracious, loving and forgiving God who is always there for us no matter how often we may turn away from Him or neglect Him in any way.

“But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.”  Nehemiah 9:17

Thank you Lord that you ARE a gracious God.  Slow to anger and quick to forgive.  Please forgive me when I abandon you for earthly pursuits.  Thank you for reminding me that I can ALWAYS run to you and find a safe and comforting haven in your arms.  Amen

On the first Sunday of every month, our church has a family service.  The idea of the family service is to focus on getting our children involved in running the service and also to provide a less formal format where friends and family who don’t regularly attend church might feel more comfortable.

Each month a different family is involved in organising/co-ordinating the service and generally all the other families are allocated one task for the service (whether it be a song, drama, bible reading, prayer or a whole host of other ideas).

One thing is for sure, you never know what might happen in a Family Service.  However, we always have loads of fun and learn something new.

Todays service had the theme of “Grace”.

I love the way we all come at things from a different angle when preparing our contribution for the service.  And yet God always weaves his own message into the service and pulls it all together.

No matter what area of God’s being we look at, it all intricately weaves together, tied by God’s love and Christ’s blood.

It really is a miracle to watch it unfold.

And often it is exactly the right message we need to hear at the right time.

This afternoon I’m feeling rather hurt by a fellow internet “friend”.  I don’t why I’m so naive as to think that people on the internet are any less human than people anywhere else.

My gut reaction is to lash out and somehow hurt them in return.

Which brings me back to Grace.  Grace is about NOT treating people the way they “deserve”.  God doesn’t give us what we deserve.  He extends His Grace to cover all of our humanity.  Christ died on the cross so that we could have a relationship with God.  A relationship that we don’t deserve.

Now it’s our turn to extend Grace toward others.

Am I the only one who finds this very hard to do at times???

Yesterday I started a Gratitude journal. I already have a “spiritual journal” that travels inside my bible cover. I seem to go through spurts or writing in it and then it’ll stay blank for a bit.

I think most of you read my personal blog as well as this one so you’ll be aware that I have decided to make use of a Life Coach for a few weeks to help me find some direction in my life. I am VERY thankful that she has come into my life at this time. The timing seems perfect for helping me through the next phase of “finding the real me”. And I’m thankful that a couple of years ago when I was selling children’s products, we decided to keep some of the profits aside to use for something specifically for ME. That’s covering the costs of my personal trainer and the life coaching right now. It’s a finite amount but the time just seems right to use it.

Anyway, yesterday, I decided as one of my goals that I’d like to start a Gratitude Journal. I want to cultivate a habit of focusing on all the blessings in my life. I have a journal that my sister-in-law gave me for my birthday last year. I wanted to save it for something special and the time feels right to use it.

Every page has a scripture verse on it. This is something that I SO want to share with God and to remind me of Him. Well, I pretty much want to share everything with God (of course) but I’m just so pleased the way this is all falling together and my Gratitude journal is naturally drawing my focus on to Him even more.

Here is the verse on today’s page:

Praise God in His sanctuary; praise Him in His mighty heavens. Praise Him for His acts of power; praise Him for His surpassing greatness. Psalm 150:1-2

Those verses remind me of a song.

We have so many blessings in our daily lives. It’s not always easy to recognise them, but they’re there.

What things are you thankful for today?

Dear Lord, Help us to cultivate in our hearts an attitude of gratitude. You have blessed us with so much. Thankyou Lord. Amen.

Yesterday was tough.

News of a Christian blogger losing his son hit hard.

News of a Christian singer whose child was run over by their older sibling hit hard.

News that a young mother in our community has perhaps a day or two left to live really hit home.

I had to try and explain to my 10 year old son that one of his close mates was about to lose a mother.

How do you answer a child when they ask you not to die?

Can you honestly promise them that you won’t?

Because this world makes no guarantees.

And I cry and want to shout “it’s not fair”.

Because it’s not.

It’s not fair.

Life isn’t fair.

Because we live in an imperfect world.

I lay in my husband’s arms last night, crying, unable to sleep for the grief and sadness weighing me down. Grateful that I still have his arms to lie in. And grateful that one day we will leave this imperfect place for a place where there is no death and dying. A place where there are no tears and no crying.

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4

Do you know where you are going when you leave this earth?

Dear Lord, Bear us up in this time of sadness and tragedy. Bring peace and hope to those who are suffering. Thank you that we have the promise of a better place when we leave this world. May these tragedy’s bring hope to others by drawing them nearer to you. Thank you that you are a God who comforts. Amen.