My apologies for a lack of posting. I’m kinda struggling at the moment. Struggling to blog. Struggling full stop.
Getting back to “reality” after our trip hasn’t been easy.
I’m not sure who I am or where I fit right now.
Life is hectic and I’m having trouble keeping up.
My body and brain don’t really want to keep up with my “will” to achieve.
Church is an even bigger struggle.
I’m actually getting very close to a panic attack the night before I have to go there.
I don’t get it.
I don’t really know why.
I just want to cry whenever I think of going to church.
Yeah, Christians struggle as much as anyone else does I think.
I guess the difference is that we’re not alone in it.
I don’t feel alone.
Although I’m not really sure what I feel right now.
Like running away I think.
But where would I go?
hugs. I don’t have any words to console you with, so know you are in my prayers.
By: wjcsydney on November 12, 2009
at 1:26 pm
I hear you, and you are not alone.
Hugs and prayers. xx
By: SquiggleMum on November 12, 2009
at 3:33 pm
Fully understand…! Is it because you think that you are not worthy? No matter how we feel , God loves you!!!
hugs!
By: Lynette on November 12, 2009
at 5:00 pm
Thanks for your support and prayers. It means a lot.
Lynette – I don’t think it’s a case of not feeling worthy so much as not feeling like I “fit”.
I’m not 100% sure what is going on. I didn’t go today because I had sick kids that needed me to stay at home. DH and DD went while I stayed home with the boys. Last night though I virtually cried myself to sleep. I do know some of what is causing it but that doesn’t really feel like “enough”. I do wonder if it’s a lot of smaller things just bothering me about the whole thing.
Going elsewhere isn’t really an option around here. Which I’m kind of glad about really as I don’t really *want* to go elsewhere. I just want to feel like I “belong” at my own church.
By: lightening on November 22, 2009
at 10:05 pm
I fully understand! I dont have any solutions! But I do know that Satan sure has us where he wants us.. He wants us to stay away from fellowshipping!!!
I have really struggled with this again in recent times and find its when i am struggling with feeling good about myself.
Pray you can work through some of the issues.
L
By: Lynette on November 23, 2009
at 9:47 pm